You just took part in a reality show called “The Survival Challenge”. Write an email to a friend giving the exciting news. In your email, you must:
Say how you got the opportunity
Describe what was the hardest part of the competition
Explain who won and how you felt about the whole experience
Student’s Response
Dear Cloud,
It was great to get a letter from you, but I couldn’t write sooner because I was too busy this holiday.
Anyhow, you can’t see in your mind’s eye what Kate and I did this summer. It all started when I was taking a nice walk on the beach. Suddenly, Kate came running like the wind. She was breathless when she reached me. The moment she came, she handed me the paper she was holding. My eyes popped out of my head; it was an entry form to the Discovery Channel’s Survival Challenge. And you guessed right, we took part in it!
The competition was held in Alaska. There were 12 teams. Kate and I teamed up with my friends from college. The most challenging thing we faced was rock-climbing. The rocks were so steep that I almost fell off. At last we reached the top by the skin of our teeth. It was so exhausting and seemed like ages. But guess what – we won!! Kate was on cloud nine. Too bad you weren’t there. I missed you a lot.
That’s all for now. I can’t wait to tell Diva all about it. Write to me as soon as possible. Bye for now.
Yours,
Shara
About the author:
Shara is sitting the ESL exam in 2017 and currently studies at Noonu Maafaru School.
Comment from MOJO:
In terms of language the writing is quite ambitious. Shara has used idioms, personification, hyperbole, and other figurative language to make her writing informal. The use of personalisation makes it even more friendly. Only a few register errors such as the use of ‘that’ are evident. More ambitious vocabulary/synonyms could be used to create a powerful imagery. Feelings could be better described using show, don’t tell technique! (notes on eslmojo.com) The content could be further developed by clearly addressing the three bullet points in three separate paragraphs. It is important that students plan out the whole email/letter before they actually start writing it.