Recently a difficult family member came to stay with you for a few days.
Write an email to a friend about your experience.
In your email, you should:
- describe the person who came to stay
- tell your friend about one or two problems that occurred
- explain how you felt at the end of the visit.
The pictures above may give you some ideas, and you should try to use some ideas of your own.
Your email should be between 150 and 200 words long.
You will receive up to 10 marks for the content of your email, and up to 9 marks for the style and accuracy of your language.
A Star Model Answer – written by Nafha, Bileddhoo School
Dear Evelynn,
I’d just escaped from a week of endless dèja vu. I can’t wait to fill you in about my 7-day chaos this holiday.
Remember my cousin Lex, who cried all night at the camp last summer? Just imagine my reaction when he paid a so-called surprise visit last Friday just in time to ruin my year-end holiday too. Yes, he’s still a cussed nuisance: it’s like he’s got the spirit of a leprechaun. Those big brown eyes and pacifier (yes, he is 8 and still has it) might make him look innocent, but I know it’s just sham.
Needless to say, he’d been such a pain in the neck and I’d been trying to weather the storm until I found him sucking on my ‘Mary Joe K’ lipstick. Hey, it was not just any lipstick – you know my Kylie lipstick collection’s been literally a lifeline to me. I was ready to clench his heart out when my dad came in and told me off. And trust me, that’s not all! On his last day here, he gave a ‘goodbye treat’ by smashing mom’s favourite vase with a baseball bat. Mom threw a fit of pique before cleaning the mess and gave him another earful.
When he left this morning, I was no less than ecstatic (I’m pretty sure it was palpable). I was literally crying with relief as I watched him get on that plane. It felt like recovering from an epidemic. This might sound a bit dramatic, but he’s too hot to handle for everyone in my family. All I know is I’ve had enough of him and his codswallop.
I’ve got to dash now. I’ve got a lot to clean up after the Lex-fiasco, so adios!
Cheers,
Sally
Post-Analysis Task
- What is the transition sentence in this email?
- Which ideas show personalizing in paragraph 2?
- How much did the writer achieve developing the first bullet point of “describing the person who came to stay”? Give the details of the description.
- What does the expression “I’d been trying to weather the storm” suggest in paragraph 3
- Describe the immediate reactions to the two major troubles the visiting relative caused.
- Do you feel that the writer went a bit too far in developing the last bullet point? Which of the sentence(s) in paragraph 4 would you rather omit?
- Do you think the closing sentence is an effective one? Why/Why not?
- In accordance with the new marking criteria (2019 syllabus), how many marks would you give to this response for both content and language separately?
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